Alright. It was a bad day agan– eating wise. Didn’t help that I was pounding shots of vodka at 11:30 am. But honestly it’s okay. I controlled it as much as I could (which is INCREDIBLE for being far from sober) but also learned quite a few things along the way. Last night I realized something. It comes off stupid and as a fallacy but i’ll just say it- Food are my ciggarettes. It’s something to do with your hands. Something to chew and think about as you listen to something pointless. It’s really what you do when your bored. This presents a few concerns to my own well-being. Am I bored? Am I not doing all I can with my time? Should I be more engaged? or is it just my generations mentality where we move on from thing to thing instantly, where we always need to be occupied. It’s the reason we all resort to study drugs– we can focus. Switching songs, radio channels, TV especially. Not to mention that food is honestly GREAT.
Last night was bad. REALLY bad. We can say that last post of 5 bowls of cereal didn’t end there… to say the least. A credit card at 7-11 at 3 in the morning drunk and high off your ass.. never a good sign- especially if health is a concern. I woke up, again feeling like shit. But I did something about it this time. It’s the fourth of July, a wonderful time to celebrate our beautiful country.. but I started off right. Went straight to the gym, and went to a lovely cycling class burning around 700 calories (says that monitor that I’m skeptical of..) It was fitness, it was a start. As the alcohol entered my bloodstream and my moral compass started to disappear it may have not been as great.. but still a start! An improvement than yesterday. As the day went on I made some questionable choices in regards to my health, sanity, and aesthetics. However, I did enjoy a lovely dinner with some friends from high school. One who has been hospitalized for his meningitis, a disease that killed one of our classmates just a year ago. I shared a meal with him, and a lovely one. I stayed away from the beer, but helped myself to the dessert.. many times (home made lava caaaaaakkkkeeeeee/tri-tip/cesearsalad/veggies/corn/chicken/MORECAKE).
I did get some fitness in at night as well. Instead of driving to the party we walked a whole 2.3 miles. Not a lot, but was a safe choice for us drunk idiots and again, its movement! Right now I have managed to get myself home safe and sound. What’s even more awesome about it? There isn’t any snacks or bowls of cereal on my night stand (or in my bed.. eeek). Haven’t touched a single thing in the fridge. It’s a start. And it’s a darn good one. One step at a time, and it starts with nights like these. PEACE
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